A Variety dad says the hardest thing is when you don’t know what your kids need
This guest post is written by Devin, proud dad to Levi and Finn. He lives in Surrey.
The word “why” probably comes up over 100 times a day in our home. Both my children are bright and unstoppably curious. Finn is a kind-hearted eight-year-old who loves to build. As he puts it—he has a lot of big ideas! Levi is three and an unstoppable force. From the second he wakes up to the second he falls asleep he is go, go, go.
Our family’s autism journey
My children have not had the easiest of time. Finn especially has always struggled with social rules and understanding why people do what they do. When he started preschool, my wife Samantha and I noticed that he couldn’t work with other children or participate in a classroom or extracurricular activities.
He was unable to make friends, and this led to him isolating himself and falling behind in school. He became sad and lost that special spark that made Finn, Finn. This broke my heart. We had no idea what to do and our pediatrician was not much help.
We first heard about Variety through Sources B.C. The two organizations work wonderfully together. Variety provided us funding so we could get Finn support from an occupational therapist while we waited to get him diagnosed. The therapist helped us create plans to work on Finn’s motor skills and lack of understanding of social rules. He was officially diagnosed with autism in 2024.
Then we started to notice Levi was showing signs of autism as well. He becomes destructive, can’t self-regulate, and ends up hurting others. We often need to leave social situations because of his meltdowns. This has made connecting with kids his own age very difficult for him. And feeling frustrated over not being able to express himself makes Levi constantly upset and angry.
After learning from our journey with Finn, we got the ball rolling right away, and with Variety’s assistance we were able to get funding for a private autism assessment within six months instead of waiting much longer to get an assessment through the public health system. Levi was diagnosed quickly and he is now enrolled in the autism funding program.
The power of understanding
The biggest key to helping children with autism is early intervention. As children, our brains can form neural pathways far easier then as adults. The sooner a child can get help, the easier it becomes for them. It also gives them more time before they face the big wide world to work on the skills they’ll need as adults.
During Levi’s assessment, we learned a large cause of his behaviour is that he is exceptionally intelligent and under-stimulated. He was a two-year-old solving kindergarten problems during his assessment. Knowing this, we focused on getting toys more appropriate to his intelligence and his behaviour started to get better.
Sometimes just understanding why makes all the difference.
Variety has provided us the most important tool to help our children, and that is knowledge. In the last year Finn has started making friends and participating in school. He has become a much happier kid. We’ve started working with a behaviour consultant and sleep consultant for Levi, and we now have the resources to buy the things he needs to feel safe and happy.
Now we’re not alone
As a parent, the hardest thing is not having a clue how to help your kids. Knowing they are struggling and being powerless to do anything about it is a feeling of helplessness like no other.
Now that we have guidance in how to help our children, that feeling of helplessness has lightened, providing much needed relief in our family’s life. Samantha and I are a lot less scared when it comes to navigating our children’s struggles. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing we have a team in place to turn to.
Thank you for changing our family’s life and the lives of families all over B.C.